oh oh... here we go...

goodness... i am soooo damn tired... i just feel my life being sapped out of me...
wednesdays are madness... sleep on tuesday night? forget it! do work till dawn.... crazy... and homehow, things never really quite turn out the way i how"envisioned" them... somehow my works always turn out quite sucky... but what the hell! i tried and you CANNOT fault me for that... so here goes... the final weeks of school! here comes the pain! submission! submissions! and more submisssion! aaarrrggghhh!!! i really hope i can see through the next four weeks in one piece... i need a booster shot man... i wonder what works... been taking red bull... but i know that i really shouldn't drink too much of red bull... it's like suger overload/dose man... and to think i used to take red bull with skittles for exams! what was i thinking... but it did work...
well... at least for as long as the duration of the paper... what happens after that is... well... ZZZzzz.... skuah skuah... well... hmmm... yah ok...
and know what... when i was signing up fot this blogspot, i typed in enemkay and it wasn't available and i was like, " who the hell would use enemkay?!"... so i went with enemkay04... thing is, i just realised just now when i was logging in that the bugger that used enemkay is actually me! madness... i apparently opened an account in like january 2003, last entered something on february 2003 and completely forgot about it... maybe because february 2003 was such a bad month for me... i was still in sub ct... feeling shitty and useless... and something else really bad happened... those bastards! uuurrggghhh... ok yah... till next time...

tiring day...

went to do filming for my group project... really exhausting... encountered some problem along the way... like requiring black and white ie.documentation to do filming outside a prison... what the hell... couldn't sweet talk my way out of that predicament... but i didn't want to be too adamant... other than that... i guess i held myself together quite well condsidering that many of things we did weren't really on par with what i wanted and my normal high standards but i told myself that this isn't MY project... it is OUR project... the collective is more important... and i am quite satisfied with how i held out... some people held out on their own too and i am very happy for them although now i am getting a weird feeling that someone really isn't as capable as that person may seem... maybe it's just me... we'll see how it goes...
i am very tired... and i am thinking if i should go and the take the photographs for my my critical studies "postmodernism" project... right now... the bigger possibility is no... i just need to get down to doing proper work... me and my procastination... what the hell... school is really taking it's toll on me... don't get me wrong... i truly love what i am doing and i am truly blessed to be where i am right now... but maybe i just love it too much that i am not giving myself any time just for me... what time i have for me is luxury... how sad... i used to be so carefree... i wish i had a more capable soul alongside me in this journey... i love the people around me... but i do not want to lead all the time... right now i want to take the back seat but i don't think i will ever get there... it's quite frustrating but i do not know why i perservere... why do i even bother? i seriously do not know... i wish things were simpler... sometimes... i wish i had a normal life...

what have i gotten myself into?!

i told myself... don't get a blogspot! don't get a blogspot! but friendster wasn't really enough for me and i needed a better outlet... so... here goes... hope this last much longer than my other online thingys...

hmmm...

i appear to have gotten the time wrong for my previous post... silly me...